On the darkest night of the year
I am thinking about how deeply I’ve gotten to feel.
I feel blessed in that.
Both the bliss, and the bleeding
and all the feeling.
I’ve been able to deepen my connection to myself.
I’ve been able to deepen my connection to others.
I was lucky enough to fall in love this past year.
I was lucky enough to learn Valuable lessons from those experiences.
Even though they didn’t go quite how I would have liked.
I felt some things I will remember for a long time.
I feel further in love with my friends.
I worked so hard.
I wrote a lot.
I spent a lot of time alone
Feeling like a pariah
But I know some things
The rest of you will never know.
I always looked for home.
I hurt a lot.
I hurt myself.
I got hurt.
I hurt other people.
I let go, and moved through that hurt.
I loved my friends a lot.
Oh, how I cried.
Some days the tears just wouldn’t stop.
Like a river pouring out of my eyes.
I deepened my connection and understanding of the divine.
Sometimes I was afraid.
With a good friend, in a dangerous situation
I thought I was going to die at least once.
I never felt like I wrote enough.
I never felt like I slept enough.
I loved so hard.
I bonded with people in ways that had profound effects on me
I don’t regret a thing.
Everything is forgiven.
Moving ever towards the sun
Until the light returns
Built with blood, bone, and earth
Up the witch punks
Winter Solstice, 2015.