Whispered to quiet rooms in
The afterglow of spells spoken
Balm for the bleeding and the bliss
That is the burden of letting go
To heal the hurt we hold
Breaking free from bonds
That no longer nurture our souls
The air holds a charge
Crackling lungs breathing in the dark
Soothing everlasting aches
Giving thanks for the strength
Of hearts that never break.
The shadows so cast by time grow long
Yet never so long across the tide of years
That the currents would ever absolve
Or erode the litany of your sins
A cold wind is growing now
Blowing wild and unfettered
Carrying the scent of blood
And vengeance upon it’s breath
We came for annihilation
We came for liberation
Hard and breathless, howling into the wind
Backs arched and seething
Screaming, with love like blood and
Rapacious smiles full of glaring fangs
Claws set for tearing the black heart
And rot of oppression out
Extravasating the writhing
And whispered wounds
From our souls
Hard against the wind
Howling into the black
Against night, against oblivion
Gone to shadow yet reborn to light again
A colossal spell
Cast for destruction
For gnashing teeth to shatter chains
Cast for the transubstantiation
On the darkest night of the year
I am thinking about how deeply I’ve gotten to feel.
I feel blessed in that.
Both the bliss, and the bleeding
and all the feeling.
I’ve been able to deepen my connection to myself.
I’ve been able to deepen my connection to others.
I was lucky enough to fall in love this past year.
I was lucky enough to learn Valuable lessons from those experiences.
Even though they didn’t go quite how I would have liked.
I felt some things I will remember for a long time.
I feel further in love with my friends.
I worked so hard.
I wrote a lot.
I spent a lot of time alone
Feeling like a pariah
But I know some things
The rest of you will never know.
I always looked for home.
I hurt a lot.
I hurt myself.
I got hurt.
I hurt other people.
I let go, and moved through that hurt.
I loved my friends a lot.
Oh, how I cried.
Some days the tears just wouldn’t stop.
Like a river pouring out of my eyes.
I deepened my connection and understanding of the divine.
Sometimes I was afraid.
With a good friend, in a dangerous situation
I thought I was going to die at least once.
I never felt like I wrote enough.
I never felt like I slept enough.
I loved so hard.
I bonded with people in ways that had profound effects on me
I don’t regret a thing.
Everything is forgiven.
Moving ever towards the sun
Until the light returns
Built with blood, bone, and earth
Up the witch punks
Winter Solstice, 2015.